I may have mentioned this in the past, I may have not. Who knows at this point, I’m now 34 and the fog of ages is starting to kick in. However at some point I had an idea and another idea ad infintum, I finally get the ideas going and me being me- I’m satisfied. This while a good practice, in reality ends up not being so? It’s kind of absurdist when I do it as I have trouble following through with any sort of idea to completion. Lgbtree.life being one of them.
Now, I could come up with a thousand reasons why I haven’t kept up with any of my long term endeavors. Whether it be my card game Manafold, a Fangame Project or even the aforementioned Lgbtree.life that for some reason fizzled when actual life got in the way. But I just cannot… not on my own, I’m a dreamer with the skills to make things happen but not the control to follow through with any of them. I need help and in more ways than I can bother admitting to you or myself.
There are times lately where I find myself crying at the reality of this, where I noticed I’ve lost control and need help picking myself back up. There are times lately where I find myself in a hole because I lost things that hurt me but kept me together. So many times, so many that I found myself crying on my grandma’s bed the other day venting to her. Not for help but for my lack of stability and control.
Life has gotten away from me and I’m afraid…